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Eight months after my 30th birthday, I realized that I did, in fact, want children. In my 20s, I was never really sure. I thought of it as a kind of eventuality, something I’d get to once my life no longer revolved around friends and travel and chasing the next story. Something for the next, much more grown-up phase of my life. Then I learned that the choice might not be mine to make. My egg reserve levels were teetering on the edge of “critically low” and all signs pointed towards early menopause, a condition I now know runs in my family.
Different doctors gave me different advice. “You have time, it’s not like you have a knife to your back.” “You need to preserve your eggs as soon as you can.” “Eggs are no guarantee; freeze embryos with your partner of six months.” It was overwhelming. But seven months after my diagnosis, in January 2022, I flew to the UK from my home in Dubai to freeze my eggs. And just like those eggs, I have since then put all thoughts—and fears—around my fertility on ice. Denial, perhaps.
Two years on, I feel ready to confront the issue again. That’s how I find myself winding my way through the unending greenery of the Himalayan foothills, en route to Ananda. For more than two decades, Ananda has been a place of retreat, somewhere to reset and find peace; to find yourself. Set within the grounds of the palace of the Maharaja of Tehri Garhwal, the destination spa’s 40 hectares overlook the colorful city of Rishikesh, known as the spiritual birthplace of yoga.
Ananda is Sanskrit for bliss and here, the Indian traditions of yoga and Vedanta are combined with Ayurvedic medicine and international wellness experiences. Past guests have included King Charles III, Oprah Winfrey, and Demi Moore, but I’m here to experience Ananda’s latest offering, fertility enhancement. The aim is to balance my hormones and improve the quality of my eggs, ahead of another trip to the UK to undergo a second round of egg freezing.
My program starts with a meeting with Naresh Perumbuduri MD, an expert in Ayurvedic medicine and women’s health. He takes my pulse, and can immediately tell I have had a disruptive night’s sleep and that my dominant dosha is Pitta. The three doshas of Ayurveda—Vata, Pitta, and Kapha—are a marker of both a person’s physical and emotional energies, and help to guide treatment and diet plans at Ananda. My Pitta-Kapha characterization means I should wake 30 minutes before sunrise, avoid acidic foods and red meats, and strive to keep my busy mind calm and steady.
In my room, from where I can see the Ganges snaking through the valley below, two immaculately pressed sets of white kurta pajamas hang in the closet, alongside a note suggesting guests may feel more comfortable wearing them around the resort. I slip them on, despite the slightly cult-like undertones, and my self-consciousness dissipates when I arrive at lunch to find myself surrounded by fellow pajama-clad guests. Despite the luxury of Ananda, there are refreshingly few external markers of wealth on display—just people wearing the same white outfit and the same relaxed expression.
As my week progresses, so does the intensity of my treatments. To begin with, my days involve soothing synchronized four-hand massages and one-to-one yoga and meditation sessions. I have acupuncture, cupping, physiotherapy, and regular check-ins with Naresh. On day three, I enter the detox phase of the program, which involves a liquid-based diet and a rather unpleasant series of oil enemas, but there’s no denying how good I feel afterwards.
In an emotional wellness consultation with visiting therapist Blossom Furtado, we cover more ground in 90 minutes than I managed to get through in the six therapy sessions I had post-egg-freezing. I leave believing the feeling I have deep down—that everything will somehow work out the way it should—isn’t denial, but rather a quiet optimism that I should trust. She gives me a mantra to go away and repeat. “I am happy, healthy, and peaceful at all times.” In a place like this, these sentiments are easy to embody.
Peace permeates Ananda. Not only within the vast confines of the spa or the private sanctuary of the palatial yoga and meditation rooms, but through every part of its sprawling grounds, cocooned within the natural armor of towering sal forest. One day, I follow the sound of music in the distance and eventually find a lone bagpiper playing next to an empty bench as the dipping sun casts the surrounding valley in gold. I take a seat as he plays on behind me, accompanied by a chorus of birds busily concluding their day’s business. I later learn that he’s played his bagpipes in this same spot every day for the past 20 years, even during Covid when there was not a soul around to listen.
I join an early morning trek to Kunjapuri Temple, during which we pass through hill towns where, on the eve of Holi, children throw colorful gulal at each other, and are all too happy to involve us. From the temple site, the clear morning allows us to spot the snowcapped peaks of the Himalayas in the distance. Our guide tells us the story of the temple, believed in the Hindu religion to be the site where part of goddess Parvati’s body—her chest—landed after it was cut into pieces by Lord Vishnu to save her grieving husband Lord Shiva from despair and allow her to be reincarnated. I’m told many people associate this temple with motherhood, and so I take a quiet moment alone inside.
After a few more days of medicated oil baths and specialist abdominal massages, my program at Ananda is over. I spend eight days here, but the recommended fertility enhancement program spans from 14 to 21 days. Dr Naresh sends me away with a list of lifestyle recommendations, from exercise and diet to sleep. While the effects on my fertility remain to be seen, I leave feeling lighter in every sense. At the end of every session at Ananda, practitioners say a parting prayer for you: “Santi. Santi. Santi.” “Peace. Peace. Peace.” And that’s exactly what I’m leaving with, whichever way this journey takes me.
More fertility-focused retreats
The Farm at San Benito, Philippines
Holistic health resort The Farm at San Benito offers a four-day fertility program focused on cleansing the body of toxins that lead to hormonal imbalance, and exploring the “spiritual principles of creation and creativity”. Treatments include acupuncture, IV therapy, and colon hydrotherapy, as well as a vegan diet plan, and yoga and meditation sessions.
Amchara, UK and Malta
At Amchara, which has resorts in Malta and the UK, residential health retreats address various aspects of fertility, from a pre-IVF detox to programs specifically designed to treat symptoms associated with PCOS and endometriosis. Amchara’s holistic approach to fertility is centred around detoxification, and its team of in-house fertility experts also work with guests on managing stress.
Yovan Longevity Resort
Set in the tranquil Catskill Mountains in Monticello, New York State, Yovan Longevity Resort offers a holistic program that combines Ayurvedic, naturopathic, and yogic treatments to target fertility in both men and women. The focus is on stress, diet, exercise, and routine, with hot stone sesame oil massages, infrared saunas, medicated oil massages, acupuncture, yoga, and meditation. Retreats must be booked for a minimum of three nights.
A version of this article originally appeared on Condé Nast Traveller Middle East.
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